Close Enough To You
by caught-between
Summary: AU: Kurt and Sebastian have known each other since they were kids. Sebastian moves to Paris and the next time he sees Kurt is at the Lima Bean 10 years later. Things have changed quite a lot.
1. Prologue

"Kurt!" Anne called from the front door while smiling at the little boy in front of her. He looked impatient, throwing his arms back and forth without ever keeping his eyes locked on something for more than a second.

Kurt arrived a minute later, looking at his mother with curious eyes. When he spotted the other boy, his curiosity grew. Sebastian never came to visit, at least not without his parents.

"Look who's here to see you," Anne announced, still smiling.

"Hi Sebastian," Kurt said, looking suspiciously at the other boy who remained silent, but now looked down at his feet.

"Why don't you two go outside and play?" Anne suggested and then gently pushed Kurt outside to stand next to Sebastian. "I'll call you in for dinner." And with a kiss on the forehead, she sent both kids off.

Kurt turned to Sebastian, wondering why in the world they were both standing together in his front porch. They never willingly played together, only when their parents said to. Living next to each other, it would happen more often then not, but Kurt had his best friends, and Sebastian was never considered one of them.

"What do you want?" Kurt's high-pitched voice rang annoyingly in the other boy's ears. Sebastian, too, wasn't very found of Kurt.

"My mom told me to come say good bye to you." Sebastian rolled his eyes, clearly thinking this was all a very stupid idea.

"Where are you going?"

"Paris."

Kurt's eyes immediately widened; he had heard of that place before, and he knew it was very far away.

"What are you going to do there?" He asked, crossing his arms above his chest. His heart had suddenly begun to beat quicker than it should.

"I'm going to live there, stupid."

Kurt thought about it for a while, trying to understand. Sebastian was going to stop being his neighbor, but it was more than that. They'd never play together anymore, or go to the park with their parents and run around trying to pull each other's hair, or force the other to watch movies they didn't like. They'd never fight anymore, and for some weird reason, Kurt didn't like that.

"Is it forever?" Kurt asked, dreading the answer. Sure, he didn't like Sebastian that much, but the thought of things changing so drastically between them scared him. Kurt had gotten used to being picked on by the taller and arrogant boy. He didn't know how to _not_ have that.

The look on Kurt's face made Sebastian's eight-year-old heart sink. He had been expecting cheers and a bit of their everyday teasing from the boy – not this. Not sadness.

But Sebastian felt it too; he didn't want to leave Ohio, or his school, or his annoying little neighbor. In fact, when his mom announced their moving, Sebastian cried and thought of how he wouldn't have anyone to steal toy cars from anymore.

"I don't know," he finally answered, and Kurt's first reaction was to hug the boy, but he didn't. Instead, he put a little smile on his face and playfully punched Sebastian's arm.

"Promise you won't find someone else to bother," Kurt said, demanding.

Sebastian smirked, "I promise."


	2. Chapter 1

Kurt's alarm went off thirty minutes earlier that Monday morning.

It was the first day of his senior year and he had been too tired the night before to plan an outfit.

Stepping out of bed, Kurt shivered at how cold the floor felt against his warm feet, and so scurried off into his bathroom. He started a shower and lazily brushed his teeth while the water got hot, never glancing directly at his reflection in the big square mirror.

He let the water wash away every sign of sleep from his features and tried to relax under the hot waterfall. _Today is going to be a good day_, he thought, _I don't need Blaine._

The minute he thought it, he knew how big a lie it was.

Blaine Anderson, his first love, long gone, but still too close.

Every inch of Kurt's body ached at the thought of his boyfriend. His _ex_-boyfriend. But it wasn't fair for Kurt to be in so much pain, while Blaine was probably fine. At least, there's no real reason for Blaine not to be fine. He _cheated_. He knew the consequences of what he was doing when he did it – he knew he'd lose Kurt and he still didn't care.

Kurt's eyes closed tightly and his head arched back so the water hit right on his face. _You promised you wouldn't do this to yourself, Hummel_, _just stop_. He focused on the sound of his own breathing, and then on how each stream of hot water felt against his cheeks, then his shoulders, then his chest. He needed a distraction – anything.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kurt dried down, applied deodorant and each of his three different skin products, to then style his hair with two other products. Once in underwear, he stood in front of his open closet and invested all his attention on the neatly hanged clothes. After deciding that today's outfit would be simple, without many layers, he grabbed his white V-neck and navy blue cardigan, followed by the best pair of well-fitted jeans he owned, then got dressed.

Glancing back at the alarm clock on his bedside table, he saw that most of his pre-calculated thirty minutes were up. Things were going as planned.

Kurt put on a pair of navy blue Vans to match his cardigan and then left the room with his black messenger bag already equipped with everything he'd need for the day.

On the way downstairs, he could already feel the sweet smell of French toast filling his nostrils and hear Finn laughing at something Burt probably said.

"Good morning, dad. Hey, Finn." Kurt let out while grabbing an apple from the refrigerator and taking a bite. Finn's eyes now followed his brother's each step with a worried expression on his face and Kurt immediately knew why. Finn had seen Kurt running into his room crying the last night.

"How are you, bro?" Finn asked, trying to seem casual, while Kurt just tried not to get irritated. He appreciated the concern, but he really didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm fine. Thanks."

Burt looked over at Kurt with raised eyebrows but decided to let it go for the moment. He knew his son too well.

"Want toast?" He asked instead, and Kurt shook his head, raising the apple in his hand so his father could see.

"I think I'm going to head out already," Kurt said, not really thinking, even though first period would only start in forty minutes.

Burt didn't argue.

"Do you need a ride?" Kurt looked at Finn, hoping the answer would be no.

"Puck said we'd go together, but thanks."

"Alright," Kurt sighed, and then forced a smile at his dad. "I'll see you later."

Last week, Kurt had made plans with Blaine to go together to school too. It's kind of funny how quickly things can change – except, of course, Kurt wasn't the one laughing. 

At school, everything had _not_ gone as planned.

By the end of 5th period Kurt couldn't stand the sight of Blaine walking from class to class as if nothing was wrong. When the boy shot Kurt a smile before the bell rang, the smartest decision was to find a decent stall in the bathroom and stay there until Kurt's heart decided to not be an ass.

There he stood leaning against the door from the inside, heavily breathing, using everything he had not to completely fall apart.

The tears burned through his eyelids as the memory of Blaine in a bed with someone else burst in front of him. Kurt couldn't believe it – it was too surreal, too fake. Blaine, _his _Blaine, so kind and caring, the owner of those puppy eyes that once looked at Kurt with such passion… It couldn't have been the same person from last night.

Kurt's head was spinning, trying to make sense of the situation. Between each tear came a sob, then a pinch, a failed attempt to wake up from what could only be a nightmare.

The tiny part of his brain that wasn't clouded by feelings was going over the past summer, seeking a valid reason for Blaine to have cheated, except there really wasn't – Kurt was sure of that much; they hadn't been fighting and the sex was still amazing. All in all, things were the way they had always been between them.

But then again, there was no such thing as a valid reason to cheat.

That summer Kurt had seen a different side to his_ ex_-boyfriend; Blaine had gotten reckless, always asking to go out for drinks at a gay bar called Scandals. He claimed he wanted to meet more people from the LGBT community. After declining so many offers, Blaine got the habit of going solo.

And right now, in a dirty bathroom stall, all Kurt felt was stupid, like maybe it was his fault this was happening; his fault the love of his life didn't think he was enough. His fault Blaine fucked some nameless man-whore in the bed they once made love on.

Right now, Kurt was crying and banging his head on the door, trying to block out the big explanation mark in his brain –_had last night been the first time Blaine was with someone else?_

_He never loved me_, Kurt concluded.

_Because love doesn't just end like this._

***

When Kurt felt that he had spent more than enough time in that stall, 6th period was close to over and the first Glee Club meeting of the year would soon be starting.

He left the bathroom trying to look as confident as he could manage, and marched off into the choir room, only to find Brittany and Santana making out in a far corner.

"Let's get ourselves together, girls," Kurt announced, clapping his hands together twice and then placing his messenger bag on top of his lap while sitting on the first chair he saw.

Santana's head immediately jerked away from Brittany, leaving the girl kissing air.

"Kurt!" Santana called with a smile. "I was a bit disappointed to not have you gaying up 6th period. Such a waste of 50 minutes."

"Now I understand why you left early." Kurt teased, forcing a smile, really trying to reciprocate the girl's excitement.

He grew to like Santana quite a lot over the summer, while Blaine was off at Scandals. On the nights that felt a bit too lonely, he'd call up all the girls to watch movies and eat chocolate.

Even though he was more than used to Brittany and Santana making out by now, he couldn't help the sting that struck his heart. They were in love – Santana with Brittany and Brittany with Santana, exactly the way it should be. Kurt knew what it was like, love, long looks into the other's eyes, desperate kisses in case time lacked – but now, he knew what it was like when time actually was up.

"Kurt, where are your princess clothes?" Brittany asked, looking genuinely upset.

"I wasn't feeling it today, Brit, sorry." He gave her a smug smile and then looked back at the door, where the tiny Ms. Rachel Berry came storming in, arms wide open, running towards Kurt.

"Aaaaaah!" She yelled, wrapping her arms around the boy's neck when reaching him.

"'Aaaah' to you too!" Kurt shot back, not as exuberant, but good enough for the girl to keep on smiling. "I'll pretend we didn't see each other fifty minutes ago so I don't kill your vibe."

Rachel pouted for maybe a split second and then moved on to greet S. and Brit, still sitting together at the other side of the room, hands wrapped around one another's.

The next to come in was Puck, then Finn, and Kurt's heart started racing when he realized Blaine would eventually come through that door.

And he did, not a minute later.

Rachel had then already established herself in a chair between Kurt and Finn. She held on to Kurt's hand, jumping in her seat and then calling out Blaine's name when she saw him.

"Hey there, pretty boy!" She greeted, while Kurt just focused on not making eye contact. He didn't need that right now.

Mercedes came in next and that was enough to get Kurt moving, trying to look busy so it wasn't so awkward with Blaine. Mercedes sat on the chair behind Kurt's, which was convenient. The boy looked back at her and talked about the movies they had seen two days before until Mr. Shue came in.

There were many cheers and laughs, conversations about summer and what were the plans for this year's Glee Club. Kurt didn't pay full attention to any of it, but smiled and nodded every time his name came up.

Time flew once everyone started getting up to sing. Rachel started, of course, and sometimes Kurt would even join in, but his heart wasn't in it. Unfortunately, his heart was with someone who didn't appreciate it.

When Mr. Shue dismissed the glee club, Santana was immediately at Kurt's side inviting him to go to the Lima Bean.

"You, me, Brit and Rachel." She said, and then added, "Mercedes had to rush home for some church thing."

Kurt nodded. This was good – a distraction.

When him and the group of girls were at the parking lot, Rachel followed Kurt to his car, explaining that she had gone to school with Mercedes and so needed a ride.

The whole drive to the coffee shop was made up of Rachel singing along to the songs on the radio and quizzing Kurt about Hollywood stars. It wasn't bad either, Kurt admitted. It was _normal_, and that's all he really needed.

A bell on the door went off when he and Rachel entered the Lima Bean, and he spotted Brit and S. already a table next to the cashier.

"The coffee's on me," he said, hanging his messenger bag at the side of one of the chairs and then heading to the front desk with his wallet. From all the long days spent in here with the girls this summer, Kurt had already memorized each of their coffee orders.

While waiting for the coffees to get ready, Kurt decided to look around, wanting to keep himself busy.

The Lima Bean wasn't particularly full, but it wasn't empty either. Besides him and the three girls, there were two more groups of teenagers crowding different spots in the shop. One was a group of five boys from Dalton, some still in their blazers while other's had theirs hanging on a chair. Absolutely perfect for Kurt to _not_ think about Blaine.

The other group of teens were standing at the other side of the room, laughing loudly and making comments on something Kurt didn't care enough about to understand.

"Sir," the cashier called, "here you go."

Kurt grabbed the four coffees and handed them out to each of the girls before sitting down.

"So, what's wrong?" Rachel said to him, as if it was the obvious topic for conversation.

"Uh – what? Nothing." Kurt mumbled. Was he really that obvious?

"Spill it out, doll face, and don't you dare lie to us," Santana interjected, and Kurt sighed.

He sighed and decided he'd be straightforward. "I caught Blaine cheating on me."

That statement was followed by loud gasps from each of the girls. Brittany looked like she could even cry.

The silence lasted a second too long, and Kurt felt like he could too.

Santana and Rachel both reached out for him, S. grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight, Rachel wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"I just … I don't know what to do," Kurt let out, his voice breaking, and Santana shushed him.

"Knowing you, the first thing you did was find a way to blame yourself," she said, and Kurt felt his heart sink deeper. "But don't. Blaine's an idiot to have done that, and you deserve so much better, okay?"

Kurt nodded, trying to let those words have cause some effect.

"I'll find you a better pony, Kurt," Brittany suggested, and it was so spontaneous that Kurt actually giggled.

"Thanks, but I don't –,"

"Brittany's right," Rachel interrupted, seeming to have liked what Brit said a bit too much. "You need to find yourself a hook up, Kurt Hummel, and quickly. Screw Blaine! You can do much better!"

Kurt felt confused – he thought the girls would let him mourn and sink his worries into a carton of ice cream. This was not _at all _what he was expecting.

"Pick someone, S." Brittany said, getting excited.

Santana didn't even look around before scooting closer to Kurt to say in a lower tone; "There's a boy from Dalton over there that hasn't taken his eyes off you since you came in."

Kurt blushed, "You're crazy."

"Take a look for yourself." Rachel added with a mischievous smile.

Kurt tried to subtly look back at the group of boys wearing the Dalton uniform. Santana was right; a tall and slim brunette was staring at Kurt with a raised eyebrow. Kurt didn't exactly understand the expression on the boy's face at first, but was suddenly too excited to care.

Turning back to Santana, he let out a nervous laugh. "What do I do?"

"Go get back at Blaine!" She answered, and the girls cheered.

Kurt stood up, trying to fight back the thoughts in his head shouting at him to sit back down and think about Blaine. _Blaine didn't think about me when he was screwing some stranger, did he?_ And that was all the motivation he needed to walk up to the group of Dalton boys.

"Hi there," Kurt said as flirty as possible while looking at his target, but immediately regretted it. When the boy showed no sign of moving, Kurt smiled sheepishly and added: "Excuse me?"

_What in the world am I doing?_

The brunette stood up, smirking, and walked over to Kurt curiously, but not saying a word in response.

After a second of awkward silence, Kurt continued; "My friend over there said you were staring at me," and pointed back at Santana, who winked at the two.

Kurt controlled his breathing while the boy smiled, looking at his group of friends while passing long fingers through what seemed to be very silky hair.

When looking back down at Kurt – because _yes_, he was that much taller –, his expression was of pure and utter amusement. Kurt felt something different deep inside the boy's eyes – it sparkled familiarly.

"Hi, Kurt. I'm –," the boy started, but Kurt didn't need to hear anymore.

That voice, smooth and song-like, tingled up his spine and through his heart, setting off innumerous amounts of feelings he couldn't name even if he wanted to.

Those eyes – a weird mix of blue and hazel and green that Kurt was practically programmed to dislike.

And God, that _damn _smirk.

Of course, it was Sebastian Smythe.


	3. Chapter 2

"Oh my God."

Kurt was wide-eyed and astonished, analyzing every inch of the boy in front of him. It wasn't possible for that brat from 10 years ago to have grown up into this _not unattractive_ guy.

Sebastian's face and body, of course, were the last thing Kurt had to be thinking about that moment, because God, how was this even happening? They hadn't spoken a word since they both were eight years old. Sebastian leaving for Paris was actually a highlight of Kurt's childhood, if he remembered correctly, and having the boy back now was a tad unsettling. Who knew what Sebastian grew up to be like – besides ridiculously hot? (_Dammit Hummel, stop that). _

Kurt was too lost in thought to remember that he and Sebastian were both _people_, and people didn't just stand in front of each other without saying a word, especially in situations like this.

"I – wow, this is just," Kurt began, but Sebastian's laughter cut him off.

"Always so on edge. Relax a little, Hummel," Sebastian put his hand on the side of Kurt's arm playfully to squeeze it, but Kurt flinched away instinctively.

Sebastian looked set back for a second, eyebrows rising and smirk disappearing – but it didn't last. The cocky smile was back with no effort while Kurt was silent, staring at the boy and trying to understand what was going on. He felt like a kid again.

Sebastian didn't seem to have much to say either.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sebastian clapped his hands together, snapping both himself and Kurt out of a thoughtful trance.

"This is getting too boring to handle, so if you don't mind I'm heading back to my table," Sebastian said, making Kurt confused and even a bit angry. It must have been clear in the boy's expression because Sebastian seemed hesitant to simply walk away afterwards.

"You can't be serious," Kurt let himself say, not really thinking anymore. They haven't seen each other since they were eight, dammit, how does Sebastian not want to talk to him?

"You're clearly inarticulate at the moment so just come back when you can think of a whole sentence to say to me." Sebastian's tone rang of arrogance and that made Kurt all the more irritated.

"How about we start with what the hell you're doing here?" he snapped, feeling his face go red and hating himself for it.

The boy's smirk widened, "It's a free country Kurt, and so is France. I can come and go as I may."

"Can't you be serious for a second? Or did you develop some mental illness over the years?"

"Nope, but I might develop one right now if I have to keep staring at your face any longer."

Kurt's jaw fell in reaction to the slap he might as well have received.

He tried not to let the insult sink – it wasn't personal; how could it be? Ten whole years apart and they still hated each other, like when they were kids? That's just ridiculous. What really set Kurt off was the boy's _snark_ – Kurt couldn't stand assholes, not after what he's been through with the ones from McKinley. The Lima Bean was safe, where he could be in peace after a day of being taunted and bullied. Sebastian Smythe would not ruin that.

"What are you waiting for then?" he said, trying to look calmer then he really was. "Turn around and leave."

"How disappointing, Hummel – I didn't think you'd give up that easy."

"This isn't a fight, Sebastian. Frankly, all this is is pathetic."

Sebastian sighed, biting the inside of his cheeks, his eyes almost glaring at Kurt.

It took a while for someone to speak again, and Kurt had had just about enough. Next thing he knew he was walking away, not daring looking back.

He didn't understand what had happened or why Sebastian had the power to make him so angry, but he really wasn't in the mood to find out at that moment.

When he sat down at his table, back turned to where Sebastian and the other boys from Dalton were, each one of the girls looked at him like he was a crazy person.

Rachel was the first to talk.

"Care to explain what just happened?"

"I wish I knew," Kurt sighed, not feeling it in him to give a real explanation, even though he knew Rachel wouldn't let him get off that easily.

"Kurt, it looked like you and that Dalton guy were just about to rip each other's heads off," Santana said, eyes deep with concern.

"I know him," Kurt started. "Well, not really – I mean, I _knew_ him. We used to be neighbors when we were kids and we pretty much hated each other. Then he moved to Paris and that was supposed to be the end of it."

"Until now," S. added.

"Yeah… until now."

"He's still staring at you though," Brittany pointed out and Kurt controlled himself not to look back to see if it was true.

Instead he just sat there, disoriented and, honestly, a bit upset.

Kurt and the girls left the Lima Bean when they finished their coffees. Rachel decided she'd get a ride with S. and Brit, which Kurt was grateful for – being alone was a good idea right now.

He listened as his car's engine roared to life, concentrating on the driving only until it all felt like too much, and his thoughts seemed to suffocate him. Sebastian was the first thing that crossed Kurt's mind when he decided to let his guard down. Sebastian and the confusing "conversation" they had. Kurt didn't want to deal with it, nor whatever he was feeling about it. In fact, he'd avoid it for however long possible. It was just too complicated and surreal.

So Kurt decided it would be good to get distracted again. He turned on the radio and switched stations until he found one that wasn't on commercials. Some new Katy Perry song was playing and he decided that was good enough for now.

Three songs played afterwards, but it was when the third was finishing and Kurt had just stopped at a red light that he felt his world crashing down around him. He recognized the next song immediately – its lyrics were tattooed to his brain ever since he had to preform it for Regionals when he was at Dalton.

Preform it with Blaine.

Hey Monday's song _Candles_ was, ironically enough, about a break-up.

Kurt felt something bubbling inside his chest, strong and tight, and he was angry. This whole situation, such utter _bullshit_. He wanted to scream, bang his head on the steering wheel and tell the world how fucking unfair it all was.

Before the light turned green, Kurt was already sobbing and screaming, punching the radio until it turned off.

He parked his car on the side of the street and got out. He knew there were probably people watching him, but they didn't matter. What mattered, then, was how bad he felt and how this day was supposed to be great, how this whole year was supposed to be perfect, with the Blaine that once said he loved Kurt, but now clearly didn't because, God, he didn't even say sorry today! Not that it would've changed what Kurt felt, but it would have been _something_!

But no, this new Blaine didn't care at all. New Blaine went off and got drunk and banged some pretty faced stranger. New Blaine was a jerk that lied, and made the worst of Kurt's insecurities bloom again, when it had been Old Blaine that got rid of them.

At the back of his mind, Kurt heard a voice screaming over and over again how he wasn't enough to keep Blaine with him, enough to love and be loved in return – how he simply wasn't good enough for someone like Blaine, that could have whoever he wanted.

And he knew he wasn't – he _never _was.

In his brain, though, Kurt had to create these two different Blaines. Had to because to believe that this new liar Blaine was actually the _real_ one – the one he met at Dalton not too long ago – hurt too much. He had to be convinced that, along the way, something changed. Convinced that Blaine did one day actually love him, instead of it all being fake.

Kurt was trapped in a body that didn't know what to feel – he was lost, shaking, alone at the side of the road when all he wanted was to be cuddling with the boy he loved under a warm blanket watching one of their favorite movies, the exact thing he was planning on doing yesterday when he caught the boy cheating.

He was angry again, pacing back and forth in front of the car, kicking every rock in his way, punching air.

"This isn't how it was supposed to be!" Kurt shouted, looking at the bright sky through thick tears. He didn't know who he was talking to, just that he wanted to be heard.

"Wasn't what I wanted!" he continued, weaker. If God existed, why couldn't he make things better? "I deserve to be happy…"

His fists, once held rigidly at his sides, loosened. "…Don't I?" This time, his words were but a whisper, and Kurt fell to the ground, sobbing more than ever thought possible. His vision was blurred and his back was leaning against his car. He didn't know if there were people watching; he couldn't find it in himself to care. It was all suddenly too overwhelming and he just couldn't stand it. He couldn't trap himself in that car and listen to the world mocking him. He couldn't pretend to be strong, when that was the last thing he felt.

Strong. Thinking about it, Kurt had never been strong. Blaine was what made him stand up to the bullies. Blaine helped him be himself and not take the crap from the other kids about it. Blaine was what made Kurt okay, and now he didn't have that anymore, that protection, that anchor. All he had was a spinning reality and a really bad migraine from it.

Kurt didn't know how long he had sat there, next to his car, at the side of some street the name he couldn't remember. All he knew was that once he was home, the light of the sky was fading and his dad was heating a frozen dinner.

Kurt greeted him without much effort and stripped out of his clothes the second he arrived in his room, letting them drop carelessly on the floor. They were already dirty anyways.

He turned the hot water handle in the shower and took a good look at himself in the mirror before stepping in.

"Get a hold of yourself, you idiot."

And he did.

The shower relieved a lot of stress and he managed to put on a good face for his dad during dinner. They talked about the first day of school and Kurt decided to keep it vague, convincing himself he wasn't yet ready to talk to his dad about everything with Blaine. Finn, on the other hand, had a lot of stories to tell.

Kurt chewed his food slowly and smiled every now and then whenever he heard Finn laughing. Afterwards, when washing his dishes, he saw that it was still seven o'clock and that it wasn't acceptable to go to bed, even if that's all he really wanted to do.

In his room, he pulled out some textbooks from his messenger bag and concentrated on the homework a few of the teachers had assigned.

When the clock struck eight, Kurt decided he wouldn't wait anymore. He could feel his day weighing him down and his eyelids closing every once in a while. Sleep was the best thing he could for himself.

He had decided, after his shower, to wear one of his silk pajamas, and what a good choice, because the second he lied down on his bed after turning the lights out, he could feel every inch of his body sinking slightly into the mattress and the silk surrounding his skin in a way that felt heavenly. His head fell back deep into the cold pillow and he turned to his left, facing the only window in the room. It was opened, letting in a cool breeze and the beautiful moonlight. Kurt even felt a tiny smile creeping up on his features. It was unexpected, but for the first time today, he felt genuinely calm.

Breathing deeply, he let his mind drift away into sleep.

That night, Kurt Hummel dreamt of a little boy with shiny eyes, cheerfully playing with toy cars in a big grassy backyard – and he woke up smiling.


	4. Chapter 3

Three days had passed since Kurt's encounter with Sebastian, and despite all the strength he put into _not _thinking about it, it was all he could do.

Sebastian Smythe. The stuck up across-the-street neighbor from his childhood. The one that insisted on mocking Kurt's every move and stealing all his favorite toys. The one whose mom was friends with Kurt's mom, Anne, and forced the boys to spend too much time together.

Sebastian Smythe, Kurt recalled, the boy Kurt hated but seemed liked at the same time.

Eight-year-old Kurt was just as confusing as eighteen-year-old Kurt, that was obvious at this point in the boy's head. Always unstable, always caught between emotions and always, _always_, over-thinking. Just like now, in the middle of Glee Club that afternoon – stuck in the depths of his mind, trying to sort things out down in his heart.

He wanted to talk to Sebastian, no matter how much a jerk he proved to be. Kurt felt like he needed to see him, he needed answers, or to just make it clear for himself that it hadn't been a dream.

Ten years for crying out loud. A lot happens in ten years, and no matter how pathetic it may sound, Sebastian was whom Kurt spent the most time with during his childhood, and he could certainly remember moments when the two were actually pretty nice to each other.

"Kurt," Santana poked the boy on his leg from where she was sitting in the front row of chairs below him.

"Wha – what?" Kurt blinked, setting his thoughts lost in a haze.

"Want to be in mine and Brittany's group?"

Kurt looked at Mr. Shue, trying to understand what S. was talking about. Apparently the assignment this week was to preform a ballad in trio.

"Yeah," he smiled at the girl. "That would be great."

The girl smiled back and then turned to face Mr. Shue, leaving Kurt to roam through his thoughts again.

This time, he was caught up in another point of view, one where he felt stupid for wanting to see Sebastian. Yes, ten years _is_ a long time and all that really meant was that they lost every connection they might have had when kids. It didn't matter anymore, none of the past, none of the little moments where they genuinely seemed to be friends. They weren't now – they knew nothing of each other and Sebastian didn't seem to care enough to do anything about it, so Kurt wouldn't either.

That second Kurt felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. When he looked at the screen he saw the words **1 Message From Dad **pop up.

_**You won't believe who came to my shop! **_

Kurt smiled at his dad's clear excitement, even though he didn't know exactly what had happened. It must've been big, since Burt never dares text Kurt while he's in class.

_I'm in Glee Club, Dad. I'll go over there after school if you want._

Kurt sent the text and was surprised to receive an answer only one minute later.

_**No need, they just left. **_

Kurt frowned.

_Who was it then? ___

_**Julie and Dan Smythe! **_

Kurt's eyes widened –– Sebastian's parents.

_Oh. That's weird, but nice, I guess. We'll talk later._

Kurt shut his phone away in his pocket and stared straight ahead, trying to pay attention to whatever it was Mr. Shue was going on about. He failed, of course. Mr. and Mrs. Smythe had gone to see his dad. It was thoughtful of them, Kurt realized –– after all, they had been friends, but either way, Kurt couldn't fight off the bad feeling aching at the pit of his stomach. He had concluded less then three minutes ago he didn't want to see Sebastian, and now, it seemed almost inevitable.

Santana met up with the boy at the parking lot after Glee and invited him to go to her house the next day to rehearse a song for the assignment. He nodded and tried to look excited, but let the mask fall as soon as he sat on the driver's seat of his car.

He felt his phone buzzing again.

_**I'm guessing you aren't in glee anymore, so let me ramble! **_

Kurt sighed.

_Dad, we can talk later. I'm going home right now, and I refuse to text while driving._

_**OK. Taught you well. **_

The boy rolled his eyes and threw his phone on the passenger seat, then started the car and turned on the radio, hoping the music would tune out his thoughts. He was right –– they were enough to get him distracted, singing along to the lyrics he already knew and humming along to the ones he was listening for the first time, trying to guess what word the singer would say next and what could have inspired the band to write the song.

Once he was home, Burt was sitting lazily on the couch in the living room, watching a reprise of a football game.

"Hey kiddo!" he turned around and smiled at his son as soon as he heard the door closing.

"Hi dad," Kurt managed to smile genuinely when he saw how happy his dad was. Apparently, the return of the Smythes was a good thing for him. It crossed Kurt's mind that of course it was. Burt didn't have many real friends. He talked a lot to the guys that worked for him at his shop and went out every once in a while with Carole and her married friends, but there wasn't anyone particularly special. It made perfect sense for Burt to be happy –– Kurt suddenly remembered all the nights Dan and his dad stayed up talking about who knows what while Sebastian and Kurt watched movies on the couch. He remembered all the dinners they attended at one another's houses and the times they'd play family football, Smythe against Hummel, but with Sebastian's older sister Elizabeth as a referee so it would be a fair match.

On the other hand, Kurt thought, this was worrying. Dan and Julie would bring back a lot of stuff about his mom. Not like Burt forgot, but it could maybe make him sad now while walking down memory lane with the Smythes.

Kurt left his bag at the side of the couch and joined his dad with a concerned smile. "So, it's safe to ramble all you want now."

Burt let out a laugh, but then went a bit serious. "Well, Julie's mom is sick; I think it's cancer. That's why they came back from Paris. Julie doesn't have siblings and she didn't want to leave her mom like this with only a nurse in the house. They took her in and are taking care of her."

"Oh," Kurt frowned, "it's a shame she's sick… But it's nice that they left Paris to look after her."

"Yeah, I thought it was quite amazing. Paris isn't around the corner, you know buddy. And it ain't cheep either, but looks like Dan hit the jackpot there in Paris; said things are doing really good for them financially. They even put their kid in that private school Dalton. You remember him, right? Sebastian?"

Kurt swallowed hard. "Uh, yeah… We never really got along though."

"Are you kidding? You two were best friends! Of course, you were both stubborn little kids, always fighting about toys, but it was actually really cute. You two always ended up having a blast with each other."

Oh.

At the same time that something felt warmer inside of Kurt, a big ball of confusion turned up and rolled over it. Sebastian and him were friends. Both stubborn, obnoxious, probably too full of pride even as kids too ever really admit how found they were of each other, but all in all, friends.

Kurt considered telling his dad about their encounter at the Lima Bean, but decided it was better not to. It'd only get Burt worked up, and Kurt would probably never manage to explain exactly what happened that day.

Instead, he told his dad he'd take a shower and get some homework started. That done, after a few hours of messing through TV channels and checking social networks, he had dinner and fell into bed, stopping himself from losing sleep wondering what would happen whenever he sees Sebastian again, and simply letting go into how tired he felt.

Kurt dreamt of family football in a green field surrounded by flowers.

The next day was a big blur to Kurt. Not only had every class been uninteresting, but Blaine had shot Kurt a few glances every now and then, with a little smile on his face that made it seem like nothing had happened between the two –– like they were friends.

That, of course, made Kurt angry. He managed not to march up to the boy and yell at him for everything he had done, but when Blaine stood up and said something in Mr. Shue's ear during Glee club, the whole room went silent and Kurt was sure his heart thumping was audible.

"Kids," Mr. Shue started, "Blaine wants to know if he could sing a song for us, not as part of the assignment."

Everyone cheered and Mr. Shue smiled.

Kurt felt his face go red and his heart beat faster in a way that was almost painful.

"This song is called So, by Ed Sheeran," was all Blaine said before the band started up the song.

"'Filled up with doubt, I have to move home'_,_" Blaine sung. Kurt was surprised he wasn't crying yet –– he knew the song; knew the lyrics, knew exactly what was coming.

"'But I want to stay with you, for all of the summer',"

_Clearly only for the summer, _Kurt thought. 

He must have zoned out for the next verses of the song because next thing he knew he was standing up in his spot and Blaine was wide eyed, but still singing:

"I am a liar, as you might know. I need you now, I need your touch, and your lips…"

"I think that's enough," Kurt said monotonously, and then stomped out of the room, immediately feeling tears rising and blurring his vision.

He threw himself down onto the sidewalk when reaching the empty parking lot, dipping his head between his knees and simply letting go.

It was too much. That song crossed a limit, because Blaine couldn't possibly think he would make things okay by singing. He couldn't… he won't. Nothing will make this okay. That's what happens when you cheat; when you say you love someone and then go off with someone else. When you kiss and touch and simply _be_ with someone that isn't the person you've called yours so many times before. All that while Kurt blindly trusted Blaine with his _entire fucking world_.

Kurt was angry. He wanted to scream, to hit something, break something, anything. And that's what he was feeling when Blaine showed up around.

Bad timing.

"Who do you think you are, Blaine?" he shouted when the boy was close enough. "How can you possibly have the nerve to sing that to me, in front of everyone? The whole fucking week passed and you didn't say _a word_ to me, and now you show up singing and smiling like it's just _that simple_? You CHEATED on me. You CHEATED, and you BROKE MY FUCKING HEART."

Blaine looked paralyzed. Kurt could see tears forming in front of the boy's eyes, and that only made him angrier.

"You have no right to be upset," Kurt said, trying to keep from shouting, teeth clenched and hands held straight by his sides forming fists. "No right at all."

"I…" Blaine started.

"You what? You're sorry? Well I don't care anymore. I don't want your sorry. You can shove all your damn apologies up your ass, the same place you let that stranger in."

And with that, Kurt walked passed Blaine, making sure not to let an inch of their skin touch. That was it for Kurt. That was more than enough to handle.

He waited in a bathroom stall for the bell to ring. He didn't cry, he didn't want to. The pain in his chest was sharp, but he didn't want to let Blaine do that to him, not anymore. Every night was spent trying to push away the image of Blaine with another guy. Every thought in between distractions going over how he could feel the pieces of his heart falling to the ground with every step he took.

He had enough.

So when the bell rung, Kurt's face was steady, controlled. He'd go to Santana's house like promised and he'd be okay. He couldn't be sad forever.

Kurt and Brittany spent what seemed like hours thrown on Santana's bedroom floor listening to the girl sing, feeling way too lazy to do the same.

"You know, I called you two here to rehearse, not watch me do it." S. snapped after a long time of letting the two do nothing.

"But you're so amazing when you sing," Brittany said, and Santana tried not to let it get to her.

"Thank you, Brit, but we have to practice. Or at least do something worth while."

"Well, Kurt's going to have to leave if we do what I have in mind," Brit smiled and Kurt rolled his eyes, making the two girls laugh.

"She's joking," S. made clear, and then sat down next to Kurt, watching him with close eyes as if examining the boy. "I know you aren't okay," she said after a bit.

"I am," he answered, trying to sound as convincing as he could.

"Seriously, Hummel, I'm no idiot. That thing with Blaine at Glee today sucked you back in that black whole of yours. What even happened?"

Kurt sat up, breathing deeply. "What happened was that Blaine was being Blaine, clueless and impulsive, doing the worst job at fixing the mess he made."

Brittney reached out for Kurt's hand and squeezed it. "You deserve more than that, Prince Kurt."

Kurt managed a giggle, "thanks, Brit. But I'm just really tired. He spent the whole week avoiding me and now sung an effing song, as if it would make things okay! It's ridiculous."

"We know it is," S. said, "Now we just need to do something to help you move on."

Kurt sighed, "It's not as simple as that. These things take time."

"Yeah, but it takes longer when you keep mourning."

"I'm not mourning!" Kurt huffed. He was doing everything _but _mourn. How could she even say that?

"Then you need to do a better job," she then looked at Brit and smiled. "We're going to help you."

Kurt's stomach turned –– he didn't like this. Not that he didn't trust Santana, after all, through summer they had really hit it off, but it was the way the girl was looking at him that made him dread what could be coming.

"We're going out," she suddenly said.

"To where?"

And to add to Kurt's worries, the girl answered exactly what he was hoping she wouldn't:

"It's a surprise!"

Kurt spent half an hour in the back seat of Santana's car wondering where in the world she was taking him. There hadn't been any clue whatsoever –– all S. said was that he'd have fun.

When Santana made a curve into some dark place with a filthy parking lot, Kurt's heart dropped and he knew that fun was the last thing he was going to have here.

"I can't believe this."

Brittany turned her head to look at Kurt while Santana kept driving to find a place to park, "What's wrong?"

"Turn the car around, Santana."

"What? No! We just got here. This is for you Kurt, don't be a buzz kill."

"If this is for me, then turn the damn car around!"

Santana stopped the car to look back at Kurt, realizing he was angry. "What the hell, Kurt?"

"Out of all the clubs you could've taken us, you decide on Scandals. How fucking nice of you!" Kurt shouted, and Santana started to get frustrated too.

"Could you stop being a bitch for a second to explain to me why we can't be here?"

"This is where Blaine was going, Santana. This is where he probably met the whore he cheated on me with!"

The car went silent.

Santana looked at Brittany, who shrugged, and then decided to continue moving the car until it was parked.

"Get out of the car," she said when realizing Kurt wasn't taking his seat belt off.

"Do you still honestly expect me to go in there?"

"Don't be such a girl, Hummel. This is just a random place where people go to drink and have fun. The point of this is to _forget_ Blaine, and here is actually a perfect place to start. He fucked someone when he was here? Then fuck someone too. Payback, Kurt Hummel, I'm sure you know what that is."

Kurt's mind immediately ran back to the day at the Lima Bean where Santana had said words similar to those, and made Kurt go talk to Sebastian. He knew this wasn't a good idea –– so why was he getting out of the car?

"We won't get it. We're under 21."

Brittany giggled, "Oh please, Prince Kurt. Santana and I are always prepared," and with that she took a fake identity with Kurt's picture on it from out of her pocket.

"I won't even ask where you got this picture of me," Kurt said, frowning at the hideous card.

"Good," Santana replied, seeming very pleased with herself, "let's go then."

It was easy to get in the little club –– the guard at the door seemed far too drunk to care if our identities were fake or not, and just let us in with a wink.

Inside, Kurt noticed there were only men. Dancing, talking, drinking, making out… But still, absolutely no women around. He turned to Santana with a curious expression.

"There are only men in here," he stated, and S. looked at him as if he had just said the most obvious thing in the world.

"What did you expect? It's a _gay_ bar, not lesbian."

"Oh."

"Brit and I have each other. Tonight is all for you."

Kurt felt something go cold in his chest. He didn't want this. He didn't want to meet a random stranger just to forget about his problems with Blaine. Honestly, he just didn't want to sink as low as Blaine did.

"Listen Santana, I appreciate your intention but–,"

"Don't start with me, Hummel. We're here and you're going to have fun," she grabbed his arm and led him towards a table near the wall.

A man dressed in all black showed up a bit after they sat down and asked what they wanted to drink. Santana ordered beers for them all.

"I don't like beer," Kurt said when the waiter left.

"Kurt," Brit started, "just shut up and enjoy this."

And he tried. Drink after drink and song after song, Kurt would loosen up more. At one point, everything had gotten too blurry and too loud for the boy to understand exactly what was going on. He was positive he was sitting alone at the table –– S. and Brit must have gotten up to hide in a corner and make out –– when a fit blonde guy winked at Kurt and started coming closer. Kurt smiled, finding this all too amusing, and decided he'd let it happen. After all, he had nothing to lose and chances were he wouldn't remember any of this in the morning –– so who cares?

He stood up the second before the boy had the chance to lean over Kurt's table to talk to him. Their faces were apart by only a few inches, and Kurt couldn't even manage to feel nervous, only more excited.

"Hey, beautiful," the guy said with a ridiculously charming crooked smile.

Kurt felt his cheeks go hot before arching an eyebrow and answering, "Why hello there. How may I help you?" Kurt's tone rang of second intentions.

"How about you let me dance with you?"

"Tell me your name first," he said, still extremely flirty.

"Jonah," the guy said while handing his hand out for Kurt to shake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. My name's Kurt." He grabbed Jonah's hand and squeezed it, noticing the strong fingers caress the top of his hand.

"Well, Kurt, is it okay to dance with you now?"

Instead of answering, Kurt didn't let go of Jonah's hand and was then led to the middle of the dance floor. If he hadn't been so drunk, he would've cared to be a bit more charming, but he was so thinking was out of question. Jonah, though, seemed to be enjoying whatever dance moves it was Kurt was trying to pull off, and that was enough to keep Kurt happy.

Two or three long songs seemed to have passed by before Kurt realized how close he and the guy were. Kurt had his hands around Jonah's neck while he had his hands tight on Kurt's waist. For a second, Kurt could've sworn they were about to kiss, but if they were, he'd never know, because at that exact moment, tall and slim Sebastian Smythe walked through the door. Kurt barely caught his breath at the sight of the boy –– skinny jeans marking the exact right spots of his long legs, white V-neck shirt fitting perfectly and hair designed shooting up and to the sides messily, as if he had just gotten out of bed and decided he looked fine the way it was.

He was right.

Kurt took a step back from Jonah to get a better look at Sebastian while he moved from the entrance to the bar. He was alone, probably bored and hunting. Jonah put a hand slightly above Kurt's cheek to make the boy look his way.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, I just saw a friend come in. I'm sorry, I have to go."

And like that, let the blonde hottie disappointed and confused on the dance floor. Kurt laughed at himself a bit, wondering why in the world was he crazy enough to let a boy like Jonah go. That question was too complicated for his drunken brain to answer, so he just followed his feet wherever they wanted to go.

"Kurt?" Sebastian asked when Kurt had practically bumped into his back at the counter of the bar. He looked more confused than angry, so that was a good start, Kurt thought.

"Hey Seb!" Kurt laughed, grabbing the boy's shoulders for support. They were suddenly very close to each other.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know! My friends left me to go make out," Kurt pouted, and Sebastian smirked. "Oh my God, seriously Sebastian, what type of person has the same signature smile since they're eight years old?"

"Signature smile?" Sebastian seemed more than amused, eyes twinkling with the lights of the dance floor.

"As in you always have that on your face. Nothing good about it though," Kurt teased, not putting much effort into sounding convincing. That smirk managed to be frustrating and sexy all the same time.

"I think you're drunk," Sebastian said, sitting Kurt down on one of the stools.

"Darn, how'd you know?" Kurt faked disappointment and slumped his shoulders.

"The fact that you're not angry at me."

"Oh yeah! You were a real jerk that day, and it was out of nothing!" Kurt shouted, looking genuinely confused as he remembered their encounter at the Lima Bean. "We haven't seen each other in ten years, and you managed to make me angry the first three minutes we reunited. You deserve applause!"

Sebastian laughed, "I have experience."

Kurt tilted his head slightly to the side, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I still know how to irritate you, even after so long."

"Thought about me a lot back in Paris, huh?" Kurt mocked, punching the side of Sebastian's arm playfully with his elbow.

Sebastian shook his head, "Sorry, Kurtsy, but I had too many other boys on my mind to remember you."

That was when Kurt realized something.

"Sebastian!" he shouted, covering his mouth with both hands quickly afterwards, laughing at himself for only noticing now.

"What?" the boy shouted back, imitating Kurt's tone.

"You're gay!"

Sebastian's eyes widened a bit at the obvious remark before cracking up. "What gave me away?" He said while laughing. "Was it how we're both in a gay bar?"

"I don't know, but you're gay! That's so weird. I expected you to grow up to be one of those asshole lady's men."

If Sebastian didn't look entertained before, he certainly did now. "I am one of those guys, actually, except with other guys."

Kurt pretended to analyze that sentence thoroughly, "Yeah, I guess that makes a lot of sense."

Sebastian stared at Kurt for a minute when he didn't say anything else. It was weird for him to be in the presence of his childhood enemy –– or was Kurt a friend? Sebastian didn't know, and right then, he didn't care. He was having too much fun. Kurt was drunk and Sebastian was bored. The night couldn't be any more perfect.

"Want to dance?" he asked.

"Actually, I just left the dance floor," Kurt said, but then made a smug face, "and I'm not feeling too hot."

Sebastian couldn't miss this entry to flirt with Kurt, and so said, "I can assure you you're hot."

Kurt blushed but didn't let the comment get to him.

"That was smooth, but I mean I feel a bit sick."

A growl of his stomach made him noticed exactly how sick he was a –– he wasn't used to so much drinking; this was bound to happen at some point.

"Ooh, that's not good. How many drinks have you had?" Sebastian asked, fighting the urge to make fun of the smaller boy.

Kurt tried really hard to remember, but everything was slowly becoming a blur. He could feel his stomach start flipping and grumble, and knew he had to get out of there or else he'd probably ruin Sebastian's night and outfit.

"Ugh, 'Bastian, get out of the way," Kurt fumbled out of his seat to find the bathroom, but felt a warm hand grab his arm.

"Need help?"

"I think I know how to vomit, thanks," Kurt slipped out of Sebastian's grip and scurried towards the nearest stall.

After what felt like half an hour, most of what he drunk that night seemed to be going down the toilet drain. He washed his mouth and splattered some of the cold water on his face before going back outside to face the noise. He could feel a headache creeping up on him, and all he wanted was to find Santana and Brittany and leave the place.

Instead, he found Sebastian waiting for him at the door of the bathroom with a cup of water in hand.

"Here," he said gently while giving Kurt the water.

Kurt felt too dizzy to say anything in response, and simply gulped the water down, appreciating how the cold felt down his sore throat.

"I need to get out of here before I faint or something," he said, holding on to his head with one hand and reaching for support on Sebastian's arm with the other.

"I take it you don't do things like this often," the boy said, and Kurt managed a dry little laugh. "Who'd you come with?"

Kurt took a few looks around the place before realizing Santana was nowhere to be found.

"Someone who will be dead tomorrow."

Sebastian smiled, still having fun with the situation. "Does that mean you need a ride?"

Kurt looked up at the boy and felt guilty. He had gotten here no less than forty minutes ago –– Kurt wouldn't allow Sebastian to leave because of him.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get a taxi or something."

"I doubt you can even remember your address right now, Kurt."

Kurt hated to admit it, but Sebastian was right. He didn't even know where exactly he was, let alone how he'd get back.

"Give me your phone," Sebastian offered a hand, waiting. Without hesitation, Kurt took his mobile from out of his pocket and laid it on Sebastian's palm. He didn't know what the boy was doing, but felt too open his mouth and ask.

After a minute, Sebastian tucked the phone back in Kurt's front pocket. "C'mon, I'll take you home. I wouldn't have much fun here tonight anyways."

Kurt blinked, trying to understand the words.

"Who's home, exactly?"

The next morning, Kurt woke up with one of the worst migraines he'd ever experienced, face flat on the cold floor of a room he couldn't recognize. When he sat up, panic shot through him with a gasp.

Sebastian was fast asleep on what was probably his own bed, shirtless and snoring.


End file.
